Bognogginz

A saturday in Sept.

2010-09-11T10:23:00.000-07:00

Well many things have happened since my last visit to the blog. Nobody reads this so it doesnt even matter. I've been with NY Life for about a month now and have still not triggered to full time. It is costing me money to be there and I am not really passionate about the job. Just cant get motivated to do it for some reason.

I have however been working on many new projects. Tons of cool new stuff including Gargoyles, Colorful Frogs and Turtles and Dragons. Last month I had a good sale to one collector and got $450 for several pieces. It was a fair price for everything he selected and I appreciate that he was willing to pay me for the time and the effort to create the pieces. Some of my best work to date.

I sure wish something would happen with the art. Just seems like I've been doing it for so long and it's just never really caught on anywhere.

2010-06-15T09:01:00.000-07:00

It's Tuesday. The weekend is already over and I cant say that I mind. I do hate the work I'm doing right now but at least I have a place to go. I followed up with NY life and everything seems to be a go. The trainer has still not contacted me and that seems odd. I guess there is no huge hurry as they have not received my temporary license yet. It's going to be tough to get it going but given opportunity and training I think I can build it into something that will sustain me. I have a few good friends here that I think will be of help also. I just got back from the Gym. Rene cancelled on me and has some new clients in that time slot. I wonder if I'm being replaced. I hope not. Training is one of the positive things in my life. Instead of training I did a five mile run. I feel good, although I have a blister on my foot. Part of breaking in new shoes I suppose. Art class was a little better this week. We just had the kids in the morning cut out shapes with cookie cutters then in the afternoon we actually made monkeys. Total of six hours at the studio though I did not work on any real projects of my own yet. The couple hundred extra bucks for the month is going to come in handy. Perhaps that is what I can pay Rene with to keep up the training. Other job possibilities include cleaning slaughter houses, selling housed, selling security systems to businesses and travelling round the country trying to sell artwork. Which would you pick? I know what I would pick but certain financial obligations over the next three years make it important to earn a minimum wage that is far above the national minimum. Looking forward to completing child support payments so i can focus on eliminating debt. I was doing quite well till recently. Over the last two weeks its been going in the wrong direction.

Sunday

2010-06-13T21:00:00.001-07:00

It's sunday...Blah. Finished a long week of work and now a day off. Not such a good thing for me. Last night I went out to a few bars...four to be exact. Had one drink at each one came home and went to sleep. I didn't say one word to one person at any of the bars. This morning I took Virginia (my daughter) to get a new Ipod at Best Buy. She saved up half and I put the other half on a credit card. I didn't have any money to pay for the other half, hence the all powerful credit card. After that we had breakfast washed my car, copied some music over to an external hard drive and then i took her home. After that I went to a movie with a friend of mine named Mike. He is a friend. Its now about ten PM and and I've had about six beers. I'm lonely. It is by choice mostly, but I do feel lonely, something is missing. I want to go out and find the thing that will fill the empty space in my soul, or is it my heart. Are artists supposed to be alone? Does all great art come from pain and suffering? Is my art even good? I dont know. Van Gogh sold only one painting in his entire life. I've sold thousands of dollars worth of my art. Does that make me better than Van Gogh? It certainly makes me more commercial than Van Gogh. Why do I even ponder such things. I've been off of pot for two weeks now and know that it is important that i stay clean in case of a drug test from any potential employers. It is best from my health I know. I have been smoking cigs but not to great excess. One a night four or five on a weekend. Not a whole lot but I feel that I should not. Probably should not drink six beers either. Maybe eight is better. I have been working out at the gym and have lost at least ten lbs I'm sure over the last few months. I've not weighed myself but I know my weight is down from the need to pull my belt tighter and the black wear line on the brown belt from where it was previously secured. I teach tomorrow over at the art school and feel like it is a total waste of time. The children are way too younge and are not interested in learning anything. "It's hard, can you help me, I cant do it," are what I hear on a regular basis and we ar enot doing anything hard. I am simply babysitting and I resent it. Good night.

Almost 42

2010-05-29T05:32:00.000-07:00

I'll be 42 on tuesday. I'll be unemployed shortly after that. We were notified that the english sales positions in El Paso are being eliminated. THere is not a specific drop dead date yet. I figure some time by July. I have been interviewing with NY life to go into financial planning. Take the sales job to the next level. I hear a lot of negativity about how "hard" it is to make it in that line of work. Not any harder than making it as an Artist I'm sure. I will start teaching again soon which will be fun. An adult class and a class for children. A little extra cash will be nice

1st of the month.

2010-03-01T07:14:00.000-08:00

I'm a bit under the weather. Runny nose sore throat. I had yesterday off and will take today off as well. I've interviewed for a job cleaning poultry processing plants. It's a management job and would give me great benefits. I'm not sure I should pursue it or just be happy with what I have. I've been doing well with Dish and get my bills paid and life is ok.

No great revelations no great passion just live and work and sleep and eat. Just getting on the treadmill and walking but getting nowhere. Where am I trying to get to? I'm not sure, just feel like there is something I'm missing. I'm not sure what to write about sometimes but feel the need to express myself. Usually I write a page in my journal daily. Not saying anything profound or terrific or expertly crafted just observations and feeling. I think about my old journal that was stolen along with some books, sculpting tools and clay, from my car. I wish I still had that journal. The drawings were cool, The writing had interesting stuff. And I'm almost positive that it is sitting in a dumpster or a landfill decomposing as I write this. I'm contact information was in the bag. Its more than a year now since the stuff dissapeared from my car while parked at the fox glove apts.

I almost hope that I scared away the slaughter house folks with my 900 a week request. Moving is probably not the solution to what ailes me. I wish I felt better. I think I might smoke today after Rayce gets up. Just a little. I need to get some projects completed and really hope that Rayce gets the oven fixed today. Without working at dish today I need to get some stuff completed so that i can sell it when i need the money. I'm running out of room for stuff though. I hate trying to market my work.

Up late.

2010-02-14T21:58:00.000-08:00

Sunday night and i cant sleep. Mostly
because i took a nap for a few hours this afternoon. I've volunteered to work overtime tomorrow. A couple extra sales would be good. I need to really focusing on the elimination of all substances from my body. I cant afford to not have my job right now.

The random drug testing policy has me a little worried. It would be tragic to lose my job over something stupid like that. More importantly it is not good for my body and i can feel it not being good for me. I just cant figure out how to stop.
I went to breakfast with Suzy. A Mexican buffet. I was not very hungry. I was high. It was good to see her. I wish she were happier.
I have many art projects in process at the moment. A pink elephant, a dragon, several turtles. A clay painting as well. I should use the frames i bought from the craft shop. Seems like there is not enough time to do everything. Mike has me looking into opening a bar/pool hall in Las Cruces. Get the digital sign working correctly. Find out about liquor license and then from olehausen if they will lease tables to us and what the cost would be. I've not reread this and it is probably not punctuated and all completely correctly, So sue me. :)
Goodnight.

Up early.

2010-02-10T04:42:00.001-08:00

Up early this morning. Went to bed at about nine after eating a quick supper at long john's. I love the malt vinegar on the battered fish.

I gotta get up and get moving soon. Got to be out on the east side for work by eight. Mandatory over time today.

The picture to the left is of several giraffes i created over the summer. All these pieces sold. For not much money either. Just not motivated to work on art as of late. The energy of this house and of Rayce is not conducive to being productive. I will move out by June 1st if he has not sold the house. At least by then the car payments will be gone and hopefully one of the credit card billswill be gone. Then perhaps i will be able to afford a new place. A new place alone will give me way more time to be productive and create new pieces of art. In process are an elephant, several turtles, elves, a wizard, a Chinese dragon and many other half finished pieces i need to complete.

I've been up since about four now. Turned the TV on at about 5 and got the laptop out at about quarter after. Need to be out the door by seven and still need to shave and get dressed.

Someone asked me if i was reborn yesterday. I did not have a quick answer. Now that I've been thinking about it i would have to say no. Not that I don't believe in god or believe in what the christian religion says about living your life. For the most part I have no problem with religion or faith or Christianity. It does many wonderful things. The fellowship that exists when people have a common belief or desire is amazing. What spoils it is people. People are selfish, narcissistic, and fearful, and sinful. It's not their fault though. It is a human condition.

Maybe my rebirth is just not an easy one. Perhaps the labor is long and the pains are deep. Maybe it is because i am fearful, selfish, narcissistic, and sinful. An epidural would help i suppose.

Monday monday.....

2010-02-08T20:47:00.000-08:00

Still at dishnetwork. Money is ok. Not great. Worked three hours of overtime today. Its a lot of time stress and effort. I detest trying to communicate with people who simply can't. Its not that i hate those people. I just hate the situation.

Art work is off and on and Rayce has laid claim to areas of the family room that make it difficult for me to work as i did in the past. I need to move out soon. He is sloppy, unkempt, unmotivated, high, and rather unpleasant to look at. Dirty dishes empty glasses crumbs dirty socks empty soda cans, food wrappers, and cigarette ashes follow him everywhere. $400 a month is not too bad for where i'm at right now.

I've got many projects in the pipeline. I should start doing some stuff at work to help me keep busy. Idle time and time alone are not good for me. Being here is almost alone though. Maybe here is not the best place for me. I know its been a long time since I've written but there are many good things in my notebook. One day it will all come together. I need to find somebody to finish my website. It is pretty close to being ready to get out there. Create the myth, create the legend!

Ok... good for now. I know nobody reads this. But it is not written for anyone, just keep that in mind. Eventually they will see. And when they do you will be ready!

all work.been

2009-11-10T06:27:00.000-08:00

Been working for dishnetwork for about 90 days now. The job is challenging on a daily basis though repetative. Artwork has taken a back seat and I am making double payments on all bills trying to get debt to a manageable level. 24K in credit card debt does not get paid off overnight. By living frugally for a few years i hope to put a significant dent in the total by the end of next year. Child support is set to end in about 3 and a half years. Car is almost paid off and i still owe about 4500 in a student loan. In just under 4 years i hope to have all debt paid off and perhaps even a little money in the bank.

My personal life is not a focus at this time. I do not lament the lack of connection with another human being though. Just does not seem that important to me.

It's been a while

2009-08-28T17:24:00.000-07:00

Its been a while. I've obtained employment and am finished with two weeks of training at Dish Network. It's a sales job and I am excited to challenge myself to achieve the number one spot in the company.

The training program leaves a lot to be desired and if I were the CEO of Dish Network I would be embarrased by the quality of the training we have recieved so far. It is inefficient, uninteresting, poorly delivered, and really a waste of time. I could create a training program that is fully a week shorter and produce agents that were more prepared to represent the company as they would want to be represented and make a significant living.

I have also initiated the process for getting hired as a safety coordinator for a national company that does sanitation in food processing plants. The pay and benefits seem to be pretty good and the oppotunity to travel between several cities in texas is really appealing at the moment.

I have not been doing much with the art work lately.

more another time

end of saturday

2009-08-01T22:31:00.000-07:00

Saturday is finished. Anthony and Virginia came over to hang out after I did my class. Only Matias and Max in the class. They did not really accomplish much. They are too young for the class. Sigh. I like when the students can work independently on ideas they have and then accept instruction when it will help them accomplish their goal.

Been smoking way too much! I need to quit BAD! I have been depressed about my job situation as well. I cant seem to get my ass motivated. I guess i will go get a mc-job to keep up with the bills and continue on the journey to find my place in the world.

bla bla bla bla!

Spiders and teaching possibility

2009-07-29T10:48:00.000-07:00

a spider. I'm looking into getting a teaching certificate. It will take about 6 weeks to finish the program and it will cost about 4500 dollars. Hmmmmm.....Is it worth it?

Tuesday...sigh

2009-07-28T09:49:00.000-07:00

just wanted to share a picture of some little bitty bugz I've created. These are for sale.

Artist For Hire

2009-07-27T13:26:00.000-07:00

I sure wish someone would hire me to create some of my characters for them. They are pretty cool collectibles from an award winning artist.

Doesn't seem like it should be too tough to have people spend 10-40 dollars. This collection personally I would like to be paid about $150. That means for the set someone at retail should pay around $300. Do you think it will work?

The secret is next.....

Monday

2009-07-27T08:17:00.000-07:00

Well I thought I would be off on a little adventure to Salt Lake City but I guess it is not going to actually happen. Lisa and I were supposed to be headed that way but she has not made contact at all. I guess she is not that interested in getting back to Salt Lake City. I will continue my job search and hope to be starting somewhere real quick. I need to make some cash soon.

Sigh

2009-07-22T12:07:00.000-07:00

It is wednesday now. I am still unemployed though I have filled out applications online and done some driving around to look for a temporary job at least. I do not want to work more than 45-50 hours a week max! I don't want to have to babysit a building. I'm sick of being the boss.

I continue to work on art and do a few calls a day to smoke shops. If I could just get this thing to catch on I believe i could really put together a nice supplemental income to a regular job. Hopefully in 3 years Art will be the primary job that i supplement with a few hours a week somewhere else.

I have not been writing regularly and feel bad about that. I did drag my lazy ass to the gym today and i do feel pretty good about that.

It is hard to have faith. Especially the type of person I am.

TGIF!

2009-07-17T11:59:00.000-07:00

Its friday....yay. I just got back from Tucson. Had a number of good visits with several shops out in Tucson. I expect that I will get some business from it. It will be important to follow up with them next week and try to close the sales.

Tuesday

2009-07-14T07:35:00.001-07:00

Well i recieved a text this morning after getting several texts yesterday from the woman. She says she is done with me because she does not want to be a filler. That is fine i suppose. She is the one that needs to make that decision. Not me. I liked her but never really saw us being together long term. I told her when we initially started seeing each other that i was not interested in a long term girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. I tried to be very clear about that. I guess she was right. She was just a filler..but for what? I respect her for making the choice she did. I was not emotionally vested in her. I wish her the best. I will avoid texting her.

Got a turndown from a houston area smoke shop. He said glass pipes are what sells and that the accessories just never move. Hmmm....Gotta think about that.

I have an appointment today to drop off product to the Hallmark stores and then meet Buck to work on a grant and then off to the Big 8 to look into an easy up and a couple tables for doing the craft shows. I really need a truck.

I'll write more later and hope to take a trip to Tucson tomorrow. Maybe i can hit up some smoke shops out there and get another small contract. We'll see.

Jim

Monday

2009-07-13T06:57:00.000-07:00

It's monday and i do not feel all that great. I had a friend over last night and things deteriorated when she had a little too much to drink. Sigh....

I think things are done with us, at least for her from the text i got....all it said was "I'm Done".

We have had a standing arrangement in our relationship for the past 8 months or so, from what i thought. We would sleep with each other but would not sleep with other people till such a time as one of us wanted to move off in that direction.

I am not at a position in my life where I am willing to say difinitively that any one person is "the" person for me. I simply dont know where i am going to be or what i am going to be doing. I'm sorry if that makes some people uncomfortable. I'm sorry if i hurt feelings. It was not my intention to maliciously inflict pain.

I refuse to be jealous at all, ever! It has caused issues with past relationships as well. I simply will not surrender control of my emotions to another person. I am not going to let somebody else dictate my mood.

one twenty six

2009-07-10T12:26:00.000-07:00

I have worked for a little while this morning on a few pieces. At wholesale pricing about 40 dollars worth of merchandise today. Not gonna retire on that. It is hard to be focused and driven when you have no guarantee of a positive result.

I did spray a few items and follow up with a few stores to see if i could get them closed today. No luck. Afternoon focus will be to shoot photos of new products.

I think the incense holders are a nifty little doo dad and the other stuff i have been doing has function albeit considered fringe type stores will be the ones to carry it.

Friday Morning

2009-07-10T07:54:00.000-07:00

I feel ok...actually i feel fat and out of shape and lazy. I know i have been working hard but i have been neglecting to care for myself and my body in a way that will ensure my long term health and happiness. I'm not sure why i have such a self destructive nature about me. It is not that i really consume huge amounts of alcohol or drugs. It is fairly moderate but it seems like i am always just a little altered lately, for the whold day. I do have unemployment but I feel such a strong urge to go get a job instead of focusing on the things i need to do to get the art business up and running.

tag...

2009-07-09T20:40:00.000-07:00

Just been meaning to write all day but really do not feel like it. My head is cloudy...lots of smoke. My throat hurts. I need to take a break!

Mid Day

2009-07-08T11:22:00.000-07:00

I like my new journal. The idea of keeping it electronically is more convenient. Plus its less likely to be stolen or lost like a traditional journal. I do however feel myself being a bit hesitatnt to write EVERYTHING that happens in my life. I know the sex and drugs and rock and roll is a very attractive story. I've had my share. Now.... I just want to focus on getting healthy and employed. Physically, spiritually, and emotionally, healthy! No drugs or alcohol.

I am prone to self loathing and mild depression. Just how i roll i guess. You would never know it from first impressions though. I get a little anxious in social situations and have difficulty hearing in crowded rooms. I'm probably about 30% deaf in both ears from several factrors.

Soon I will go meet with another potential retail outlet for my work. A local place called The Headstand. Goal is to sell him at least 40 dollars worth of merchandise. Incense burners...I'll let you know how it goes.

Its Wednesday

2009-07-08T06:59:00.000-07:00

I have now been umemployed since june 12th...and actually if you take into consideration that my final paycheck check bounced it is since the end of may. I'm working on a new piece for a potential customer. The piece he wasnts is an ashtray with one of my little guys holding it...I might get 20 to 30 bucks from him...I'll write more later.

7-7-09

2009-07-07T12:10:00.000-07:00

Ok...I have not done any artwork today at all. So Far...

I have spent the majority of the morning driving to different stores to try and find additional opportunities for my business. I went to 4 different stores today. I also have an appointment to meet with somebody tomorrow and hopefully I can get some business done there. Gotta be prospecting....Always.

Goal is to close at least 200 dollars in deals this week. That is not huge but it would go a long way toward making me feel like this is going to work. Unemployment will not even begin to cover expenses. Sigh. I am trying really hard to not worry about stuff but I know there is a train wreck just up around the bend if I dont get this thing moving fast

Anybody wanna support an american artist????I work cheap!

On the bright side i had chinese food yesterday and my fortune said that i would have gold pieces by the bushel.

I don't know why i was ever worried...

I join the 21st century

2009-07-06T13:21:00.000-07:00

This is my initial post to any sort of Blog. My name is Jim Jenkins. I am an artist, who untill recently held a high level job in a big box retail electronics and appliance dealer. As of June 12th I was terminated from employment with the company. They went out of business...bankrupt. To boot my final check is no good. The controller told me it would bounce so do not cash it.

What to do what to do what to do?????

Like many people I was living paycheck to paycheck barely scraping by on my salary. Now- no salary, no job, no benefits, no nothing.

What to do?

I went on a road trip is what I did. Drove from El Paso to Austin and then to Baton Rouge to visit friends and seek out opportunities to sell my artwork.

I did manage to get a couple deals and have renewed hope that perhaps with a lot of hard work I CAN make it as an artist.

I just ignore anybody that doubts and know that the voice inside my head that tells me art is my calling is right. I must prepare to recieve the abundance of the universe.

Sigh. I will focus only on the moment and cease to worry about what may happen.

I'll write again soon